In this season of giving, it’s important not to overlook giving something special to oneself. That’s why I got myself a very special, and very expensive, present this holiday season. A new plasma TV? No, my good friends, even more expensive than that.
I got myself a double hernia surgery this Christmas. Why? Because I’m worth it. But more specifically, because I’d used up half of my deductible for the year already and figured to save a few thousand by doing it before 2010. I should have gone ahead and gotten a CT scan and maybe a full body MRI, which would have been a super-cool picture collage to hang around the house, but I don’t think I’ll get those in before New Year’s. So I’ll just have to wait until some other medical emergency comes up for me to capitalize on this particular quirk in our health care system.
Anyway, the surgery was great. I played my part admirably, I’m told, by being cooperatively unconscious the entire time. I wanted to stay awake and see the whole thing, but they can’t do a local anasthetic on your midsection, so they knocked me out. They also drew on my stomach with the best Sharpee marker on the planet, since I still haven’t managed to wash off everything they wrote on me (not for lack of trying, just so you know). Fortunately I have a kind doctor who just scribbled random things, but I can see some first-year interns taking advantage of their power in nefarious ways.
Aside from the fact that nobody ever wants to get surgery, I actually had very pleasant experience. Everybody was very nice, except for the anaesthetist, who seemed to be annoyed that I wasn’t already unconscious when he first met me. Not much of a people person, which explains why he chose a profession that allows him to make people shut up whenever he wants them to. But all in all, my first run-in with the Big Bad American Health Care System in fifteen years was a decent one. I haven’t seen the bill yet, of course. But then, I have insurance, so I know what I’ll be paying. If I didn’t…well, then I’d probably still have hernias.
What’s this have to do with business? Nothing really – I just felt like sharing. I would solicit your advice for the future, though. I don’t think they’ll overhaul health care too severely in the next year, which means that I might get around to the end of 2010 and have a few hundred dollars left on my deductible again, which of course will necessitate the spending of it in a crazy new way. Currently I’m thinking about contracting diphtheria, mostly because nobody I know has ever had it, and I’d like the bragging rights. But if you can think of a more entertaining way for me to spend my health insurance deductible on something extravagant and unnecessary, I’d love to hear it. Since we’re all slaves to this system, we might as well exploit it the best we can.
Hope you’re all well. Enjoy the rest of the year.
