No idea what to write today. My brain is like a blank canvas – not the kind that you paint a masterpiece on, but the kind that you shove in a closet somewhere because someone who doesn’t know you very well bought you a canvas once despite the fact that you hate painting and never want to do it. I don’t think I’m going to have a useful thought all day today.
And to help you stifle your own creativity and become as useless and gelatinous as I am, here are a few things for you to consider:
Give Up Quickly! This, of course, is the easiest approach. Surrendering feels so sweet. That’s what vampires tell you right before they bite you, you know. It’s also what kidnappers tell you. “This’ll go a lot easier on you if you just stop fighting.”
Refuse to Do Anything Unless It’s Perfect! This is probably one of the best ways to accomplish next to nothing. The more you demand perfection, the more you’ll tweak and edit and hem and haw and generally not get anything done. There are days, for example, when I absolutely don’t want to go to the gym, and when I force myself to go I end up having a bad workout, maybe 80% of what I usually do. And there are some people who would argue that 80% of a normal workout is better than 0%. But seriously, which would you rather hear? “Look at that guy – seems like he’s giving 80% of it today.” Or, “Wow. That dude is lazy. I’m not even sure he’s still alive.” I think we all know the answer.
Don’t Share Your Problems with Anyone! No matter what your creative struggle is – a difficult piece of art, a complicated business situation, or a thorny personal issue – it is almost always true that your brain will get unexpected and often wonderful stimulation by sharing your difficulties with others. Which is why you need to keep other people as far away from you as possible. In fact, you should get pretty mad at anybody who tries to contact you in your weakened and imperfect state. The nerve of some people, trying to help you just so that they can lord it over you later. That’s part of the reason that I don’t have any friends.
Hope that helps. As for me, I give up. Still no idea what I should say. So I’m going to go watch something on the E channel. Pretty sure that’s the only level my brain is capable of operating on today.
